Behind the Smile: A Leadership Lesson from Strensham Services

I often stop at Strensham Services on my way back from Somerset — 110 miles from my parents, 110 miles from home. A convenient midpoint.

But recently, it’s become something more.

Last time, I met Mark — a triple amputee — standing for hours, manning a Veterans' Foundation stand. I suggested they should at least give him a chair. He smiled and said, “One benefit of two prosthetic legs… they never get tired.”

Today, it was Adele and Keith (“Bruce”) Lee.

On the surface, both looked completely fine. Capable. Positive. The kind of people you’d walk past without a second thought.

But as Bruce shared his story, a different picture emerged.

Five tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. PTSD. Multiple suicide attempts — described with the kind of dark humour only someone who’s been there can carry.

"I tried to stab myself in the neck but missed the main artery. My sergeant major always said I always was a crap shot. I tried to cut my wrists but got admitted to hospital with a shaving rash. Turns out I was using a safety razor. I took a bottle of sleeping pills but just ended up having a very long nap."

And then this line:

“I realised I’m pretty bad at dying… so I’d better get on with living.”

That shift didn’t happen alone. It came with support — from the charities that the @Veterans Foundation support, from people who noticed, from people who cared enough to step in.

Now he treats every day as a bonus.

As leaders, we’re trained to spot performance, capability, potential.

But how often do we really see the person?

Because the truth is: The people who seem “fine” often aren’t.

The ones making others laugh may be carrying the most.

And in professional environments, we’ve become very good at wearing the mask.

A simple question — “Are you okay?” — isn’t enough.

Ask it again.

And this time, mean it.

Create the space where someone can answer honestly, not automatically.

Because that second question — asked with genuine care — might be the moment someone feels seen.

And that can change everything.

Thank you Bruce and Adele. It was a privilege to meet you.

Wishing you, and everyone your charity supports the very best.